When Difficult is Just Different

Most managers eventually reach a point where someone on their team stops making sense to them. The person is capable, maybe even talented, but something keeps getting in the way. Work does not get done on time, directions have to be repeated, and conversations that should be straightforward somehow never are. The easy conclusion is that the person is difficult. The more accurate one is that they are simply different.

In Type Talk at Work, Kroeger, Thuesen, and Rutledge (2002) argue that understanding personality type gives managers a more effective way to bring out the best in the people they lead. Their approach is grounded in the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator, which identifies 16 distinct types based on how people naturally think, communicate, and work. Below is a brief overview of each type and what tends to work best with them.

ISTJ — Dependable and thorough

Give them clear expectations and defined structure. They execute reliably and do not need to be managed closely. What they do need is consistency from you.

ISFJ — Loyal and conscientious

Recognize their contributions directly and often. They work quietly and give a great deal without asking for acknowledgment, which means they will burn out before they complain.

INFJ — Principled and insightful

Connect their work to a larger purpose. They are among the rarest types and are deeply motivated by meaning. Assigning tasks without context will disengage them faster than anything else.

INTJ — Strategic and self-sufficient

Give them autonomy and stay out of the details. They are analytical problem-solvers who work best when trusted to find their own way to the result.

ISTP — Observant and action-oriented

Skip lengthy meetings and abstract planning. Give them a concrete problem and room to troubleshoot it. They are at their best when working independently toward a practical solution.

ISFP — Gentle and adaptable

Avoid public criticism at all costs. They are easy to work with and rarely cause conflict, but they respond to feedback only when it is delivered privately and with care.

INFP — Idealistic and values-driven

Do not ask them to work in ways that conflict with what they believe in. Where possible, connect their role to something that feels meaningful to them. They are motivated by purpose far more than by performance metrics.

INTP — Logical and conceptual

Give them time to think before expecting a response or a decision. Their best work comes after they have fully processed something, and rushing that process rarely produces good results.

ESTP — Energetic and action-driven

Keep things moving. They thrive on challenges, fast pace, and visible results. Bogging them down in theory or lengthy process is a reliable way to lose their attention.

ESFP — Enthusiastic and people-centered

Put them where relationships and energy matter. They bring life to collaborative environments and are genuinely gifted with people. Isolating them in solo tasks wastes what they do best.

ENFP — Creative and possibility-driven

Give them new problems and room to explore. Repetitive, routine work drains them in ways that will eventually show up in their output. They perform best when there is something new to figure out.

ENTP — Innovative and questioning

Do not mistake their pushback for defiance. They think by challenging ideas, including yours, and that process is often where their best thinking happens. Shutting it down shuts them down.

ESTJ — Decisive and results-oriented

Be organized, be direct, and follow through on what you say. They have little patience for ambiguity or inconsistency and work best under leadership they can clearly respect.

ESFJ — Warm and community-focused

Keep them informed and included. Being left out of the loop feels personal to them because, for this type, it is. They are motivated by harmony and will work hard to maintain it when they feel valued.

ENFJ — Charismatic and empathetic

Use them where communication and people development matter. They are natural at bringing others together and perform best in roles that have a clear human dimension.

ENTJ — Commanding and driven

Be competent, be direct, and hold your ground. They respect people who can match their pace and have little patience for those who cannot. Give them complex problems and real authority to solve them.

Before deciding what kind of employee someone is, it is worth taking a moment to understand what kind of person they are. That distinction tends to change everything about how you lead them, and more often than not, it is what separates a manager who gets results from one who simply manages to get by.