Watching Life Instead of Living It? Depersonalization and Derealization Explained

Sometimes life can feel…weird. Not just “stressful” or “tiring,” but like you’re watching yourself from the outside, or like the world around you isn’t real. Your hands look strange, your voice feels distant, even familiar places seem dreamlike. If you’ve felt this way, you might be experiencing depersonalizationor derealization.

I want to be clear: these feelings are surprisingly common, and they don’t mean you’re “losing your mind.” Think of them as your brain’s way of protecting you from overwhelming stress, anxiety, or trauma. It’s like a mental shield. Though, honestly, it can be pretty scary while it’s happening.

What It Feels Like

Depersonalization

You feel disconnected from yourself. You might notice your thoughts, emotions, or even your body as if you’re an outside observer. Some people say it’s like being a “robot” or watching your life in a movie.

Derealization

The world around you feels unreal. People, places, and sounds might seem foggy, distant, or distorted. Everything looks or feels slightly off, even though you know it’s real.

Other things you might notice: time feeling strange, colors or sounds seeming muted or artificial, or a sense of emotional numbness.

What Helps

When you’re in the middle of it, it can feel like nothing will make it stop. But there are ways to bring yourself back to the moment.

Ground Yourself

Focus on your senses. Touch something with texture, notice the smells around you, listen carefully to sounds, or even hold an ice cube. Anything that pulls you into your body and the present can help.

Breathe and Move

Slow, deep breaths can calm your nervous system. Gentle movement such as stretching, walking, or yoga can also reconnect you with your body.

Take Care of Yourself

Sleep, food, hydration, and some physical activity make a surprisingly big difference. When your body feels stable, your mind often follows.

Manage Stress and Stimulants

Stress, caffeine, and alcohol can intensify these sensations. Keeping them in check can help you feel more present.

Talk to Someone

Even if it feels embarrassing, talking to a therapist or counselor can give you tools to manage these feelings. You don’t have to do it alone.

A Gentle Reminder

Depersonalization and derealization are your brain’s way of coping, not a reflection of who you are. Most people learn ways to feel connected and present again. It can take time, but grounding yourself, caring for your body, and getting support all help.

If these feelings are persistent or interfering with your life, reaching out to a mental health professional is worth it. You deserve to feel present in your own life.